Thursday, 23 August 2012

Married a year - we survived!

We heard this a lot before we got married. "oh the first year is the hardest". We were told we'd be arguing a lot, we'd be really irritated by each other and it would be difficult to get used to.

I have to say this made us feel a little apprehensive. Why wouldn't it?

I don't really know what everyone has been talking about, it's been absolutely fine! And dare I say it, we've actually quite enjoyed it!

To be fair, I've also experienced the worst year of my life, but this had nothing to do with marriage. In fact, I realise that our relationship is strong considering what we've been through. After a serious family illness and a nightmare with my own health, I can't remember a time when I felt worse.

We only moved in together when we got married and I was seriously thinking, "he is going to do my head in and I'll probably do his head in". Getting used to cooking, cleaning, shopping and general house maintenance has been a bit of stress, but it was also quite enjoyable getting our little house together the way we wanted it. Every now and then we look at what we've done and smile. We've worked and saved and done lovely things to our house. We are still working and saving to do more!

I have to say one of the things that helped was deciding early on if something annoyed us, we'll just say it there and then! And this has really helped. On the odd occasion where I didn't do that, we had a minor tiff, so it really works!

I'm not sure where people find difficulties - perhaps they expect more help around the house, maybe they didn't realise each others habits, I'm not sure really. We don't have kids yet, so I guess that will test us to the max. I know one girl who seems very annoyed that her husband can't look after himself. But I do wonder - did she not know this before she married him?

My husband is quite independent and wants to help around the house as much as possible, although it sometimes takes a nudge from me to let him know WHAT needs done. After having quite a stressful year, I've come to the conclusion that I wish I was born a man. They just don't seem to worry as much as women do. Practical housey things are not at the forefront of their mind. I wish it was like this for me! I have found being a homemaker pretty difficult, but I feel like I'm getting into the swing of it a year on.

Last week, I wrote a list of chores that need done. We both blitz it for an hour and half on Saturday morning and it felt so good to just get it all done and that was that for the week! (for the most part)
I also find that continuing to do fun things together really works. Some of the stuff we do...
  • Go to the cinema
  • Go Bowling
  • Go out for dinner or pub grub after work
  • Listen to music together
  • Meet up with friends
  • Plan holidays
  • Go to gigs
  • Sit down to watch a movie or TV series together
It can be very easy to live in the same house, but live separate lives. We do this, but we both like the space. At the end of the day we'll make a "date" to sit and watch a tv show or something together. It sounds silly, but it's actually a really nice thing to do.

In conclusion, the first year was tough for me personally, but not for our marriage. We couldn't believe how quickly the year flew by. Once you hit the year mark, you definitely know the wedding fever is over! Not a bad thing - see my post on wedding stress

I'm pretty sure we will hit tougher times than our first year!

Are you married and how did you find your first year? Would love to know ;)

No comments:

Post a Comment