Tuesday, 7 August 2012

Confessions of a Newly Wed

I look back at my wedding and think "was it worth all the stress?" and I think "no, nothing in this world is worth that amount of stress".

Don't get me wrong, I had the most amazing day ever. I know every bride says it, but I can honestly say I wouldn't change one thing about it - apart from the ridiculous pressure I let myself get under beforehand.

It is still affecting me now. I shudder at the thought of  "organising" something. Anything. Even a night out in the local pub.

In the run up to my wedding, I was having nightmares, waking up with short breath, getting dizzy spells and 2 weeks before the wedding I lost loads of weight from not being able to eat. Does that sound crazy? I was!

Top wedding stresses:
  • Trying to keep everyone else happy
  • Taking every comment to heart
  • So many things to do, so little time - too much time can be bad
  • The Countdown! - freaked me right out even though I was organised
  • Money - save more than you think you will need
  • Hoping your other half won't go mad at the escalating costs - it's his day too, he should understand the reality
  • Problems with suppliers/services
  • Wanting everything to be perfect - let go a bit

I remember when I started wedding planning, I said "I'm not going to get stressed about this, it's going to be really simple".

How wrong was I?!!

The problem is you don't even consider that everyone will have an opinion on your decisions. You couldn't possibly have imagined that your aunt, who you never see, has a problem with your choice or invitations. You see it as your day and no one else's, only to realise that your parents see it as their big day too (their little girl is getting wed). It makes sense when I look back at it now, but at the time, I thought how dare they! lol

People you barely have any connection with are offended they won't be invited. Your guests want to bring along a troupe of kids and you lose a friend because you didn't ask her to be a bridesmaid.
I'm telling you, this wedding business is unreal. And to think, that these people will not remember your day a year later, but you will!

There is no stopping these things from happening, so the only advice I can offer is...
  • Have a short engagement - it shortens the stress period
  • Be prepared for people sticking their noses in
  • Make sure you are doing what you want because you're the only one who will remember it vividly
  • Try not to care too much about pleasing everyone
  • Take breaks from wedding planning - focus your mind on other things and don't make it your only conversation topic
Short of this, organise your wedding in secret and invite people out of the blue!

When it's all over, you are left with what's truly important. A life with the person you love. That's when it really begins.

No you won't feel different the day after your wedding. You won't magically feel like a wife. And you think "was that it?" lol

I apologise if I've made weddings sound depressing. It's one of the most joyous and exciting times of your life too. It's great being able to pick and plan everything just the way you want it, so try and relish in the nice parts like picking your dress, visiting venues and picking your menu. These are all truly lovely bits :)

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